Life gets too complicated at times. Even when you get lucky, even when you make lemonade out of all the lemons that it gives you. A loser's tale is always easy to handle, A winner's abundance is sometimes a liability. New found friends, a family at peace despite the odd times and living in my parents house which is no less than livin in a shack cramming all the stuff we all own - It is like my life is perfect despite the little difficulties, but the other side flips too fast. Professional success attracts attention, sometimes way overdue.
I want to stop but nobody listens. That results in sleeplessness, cos there is too much hope I give than I can really satisfy. And this is where the struggle lies, perhaps I have been on this road before. I have fought with the thought and I have moved on. Like life gives you lemons, it also gives you pears(I thought of coining peaches for my expression but sounded too peachy) and suddenly you realize that making lemonade was easier than eating all the pears.
It is a growth pain. There are only 3 possibilities - get flattered, squeeze out the phase and bloat up your head; or Get to the new opportunity alienating your present or just say stop, you need time to breathe and settle down. I donno if everyone sees life in distinct questions and multiple choice answers. I guess it is the nerdy brain and self gloated einsteinic engineering pride. In the end, it is not a difficult choice, for you are never going to comeback and change it but only wonder what if you could have.
I only see that I cant turn in the grave for something I lost at work. My heart is somewhere higher than these tiny little options. I need to move on. If I need to slowdown, I would cos it is not anyone else's watch for me, it is always mine. Will I wonder, will I not!!! I dont know but I am not the one who keeps pondering. I will choose a pear before I close my eyes again. I am not an insomniac anyway.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
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