Losing Shame

The notion of self-doubt is sometimes a barrier so difficult to break. I was just thinking about the last time I lost myself is self doubt. Perhaps years ago when there were less troubles I probably had enough room for empty thought. That was probably the time when I always ruminated in remorse. Though the remorse remains, I have come to believe in losing shame. This perhaps is the most cryptic of my blogs so far.

But this is what life means to me. We meet so many people each day. There are personal struggles, professional ones that keep popping each day. There is nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. The only best thing that we can do is show up each day with the gloves up until life knocks you down. You put the guard down once and it knocks you down faster.

Lowly feelings are supposed to be part of a human spectrum of sentiment. The art of recuperating from such abysmal moments is simple though, in my opinion. Back in India we are brought up with our feet on ground. Most people I have met from India and the east are more subdued in emotion. Humility and simplicity are considered greater ideals in our place. The pit fall though is there is a thin line between self deprecation and humility.

Humility comes from within and self deprecation comes from a critical environment. The first person whom you need to be answerable is you. Humility comes from keeping that thought in equilibrium.

To make my thought simpler, When something goes wrong if there is more self realisation than shame it helps. Losing shame is the key. Easier said than done these are the grey strokes of every personality. Hom much shame can you take? How much truth can you handle? You dont have to shout over the roof debriefing your errors to the whole wide world. The moment you accept the fact without putting yourself down in your own thoughts you lost the shame and handled the truth. Because when you accept your mistake, you improve. But the negativity of anger takes reason away and all you are left with is shame because you cared more about what criticism you may attract than your own inner repentance.

The closer we get to see things in black and white, we accept mistakes and we get closer to peace. The more shame in deeds, more turmoil. These are the grey feelings. When we get closure on shame, we tend to succeed better.